


Beast On My Back

by Yonce



Category: Original Work
Genre: Anxiety Disorder, Apathy, Depression, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-19
Updated: 2019-02-19
Packaged: 2019-10-31 13:23:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17850263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yonce/pseuds/Yonce
Summary: This is basically a poem/piece I wrote one evening which details my depression.It's very rugged & not well reformed as a poet's piece,but this is my outlet since I keep things inside of me.





	Beast On My Back

am I crazy?  
All my days seem hazy  
I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore  
Just knocking on empty doors  
Waiting for an answer  
Hoping to move along faster  
It’s like I was put on this earth to be made a fool of  
A tool of some sorts others use for self-comfort  
I may have received a victory  
But I always gotta ask myself will it last?  
Because everything seems to be happening so fast?  
I’m just going through the motions as I’m drowning further into the ocean  
Wallowing into it’s cold, deep darkness bit by bit as every part of me get devoured  
I don’t know how long I can go on, but it seems as though I have no other option  
If I were to be cracked open, you’d find nothing, just a hollow of who I used to be that is if I used to be anything  
They say life is your oyster  
But I think that’s a lie  
I’m just really hanging on till the day I die  
Nails, teeth & everything  
Who will win? me or my insanity?  
I may look serene on the outside, but there’s a monster on the inside feeding & feeding till god knows how much of there will be left of me,just for clarity.  
It comes out at night, howling at the moon  
I think it might take over soon, I’m just not sure when.  
Everyone around you is moving but you’re just stuck  
Going at life like what the fuck?  
You put your left foot in, you put that left foot out when all you want to do is scream & shout.  
This beast I tell you will come out soon  
Not sure when, but at the sight of the moon.  
He’s not sure when to stop, but he can’t wait to see me drop  
Like a wolf at night, hunting for its prey  
The only difference is that my beast is here to stay.  
You can’t see him, feel him, or hear him  
So you ask what is this beast? I don’t see no beast.  
That’s because I have him caged, or at least I’d like to think  
But really, he’s the one who has me caged  
Caged in rage  
Taunting at me, tugging at me, waiting to see how much more can I take?  
Sometimes I wonder at night why I have feelings?  
If it were up to me, I would reach down my throat & rip my own heart out.  
But would I find my heart? or has the beast gotten there before I have and devoured it already?  
How can one at times not feel the same?  
Or is this some sort of wicked game?


End file.
